Attention deficit disorder (ADD) doesn't just make studying and paying attention in class difficult for children. Adults with ADD often find that aside from having trouble at work, their condition also affects their personal relationships, including their marriage. If you don't have ADD but love and live with someone who does, these four tricks will help you keep your relationship strong without letting the disorder get in the way.
The inability to remember daily chores or tasks without being reminded is one of the most frustrating habits of a person with ADD, especially when you're trying to raise children or organize a household with them. Many non-ADD partners simply shoulder the burdens and develop resentment, but reinforcements and an emphasis on responsibility are healthier. Adults with ADD benefit greatly from electronic reminders, to-do lists, and other automated reminders anyways, so it's beneficial to roll every responsibility into the same system, even small tasks like picking up clothing off of the floor. Written and electronic systems also reduce the feeling of nagging for both partners to preserve affection.
An adult with ADD is often so wrapped up in their own mind and thoughts they don't realize they're not sharing them with you. This often leads the non-ADD spouse to feel neglected or even ignored when their partner internally expresses love but doesn't have any outward indication of those feelings. Many adults with ADD report that their spouses complain of a lack of demonstration of love, such as touching, kind words, and small gifts. Keep in mind that this is due to the ADD, not your partner's feelings about you. Encourage them to share their feelings by asking regularly and giving them recommendations on how to show they care. You may feel like asking for flowers or gifts is cheating, but you're just reminding your spouse of something they want to do before forgetting due to their ADD.
Seek Different Counseling
If you're married to or dating a successful adult with ADD, you may think that their ability to stay on track at work or remember their home chores will translate into a strong relationship. Unfortunately, the same techniques used in other settings don't always seamlessly apply to managing the disorder's effects on a close relationship. Encourage your spouse to try a counseling or management system designed specifically for relationship challenges caused by ADD. Learning a few new skills, or how to apply their existing skills, can make the difference between a successful or unhappy relationship.
To learn more, contact a clinic like Anxiety Depression Disorders Clinic.Share